the best

In honor of the end of the year (and the decade), I want to take a minute to note some of the great things in my life that I am so thankful for:

1) K & I's house. I love it. It has a basement and a second floor. And it has a deck. We put lights on the staircase and set up the Christmas tree and it looks and feels amazing. The mortgage is insane, and we pay $1300 a month in interest for now, but it's worth it. Sunday night we were walking around it, wrapping presents and doing odds and ends. And it just felt great -- I told K, "I love our house." and she said "I do too."

2) That the wireless internet works like a charm in the house. At some point when hooking it all up, I set both of our computers to auto connect, and it is awesome.

3) The browser on the new blackberry tour is also awesome too (except when it is set on the international data plan).

4) Panera Bread. I have had some excellent Panera lately. I had a moment a couple weeks ago when I was wearing a hoodie and eating Panera with K and I told her, "I feel really good in my clothes." Not looking good -- they were just super comfortable and I was eating good food and enjoying awesome company.

5) Top Chef this season. It was really fun to watch since K and I had been to Volt (and loved it), so we were rooting for Bryan. Plus Zaytinya, where Mike I is the head chef, is one of my favorite restaurants in DC.

6) Skype. This saved me on my last international trip, and I was in need of saving.

7) That Lily is in a great home. My dad and his wife love having Lily. I am still desperately looking for a new home for Nasey (she is with my brother now, but I am not happy with her there), but I am happy that Lily seems to have settled into something great. Apparently she sits on their laps all the time. I can't wait to see it in person on Friday!

8) The prospect of big things in the future. Making big plans with K.

9) That the lunch I ordered last week for my practice group was a big hit. Very few people even know that I was the one that ordered it, and it was kind of a gamble, but it turned out great -- I was nervous!

10) I've bought some Christmas gifts that I am VERY excited to give. I found things for my parents that I really like and am excited to see if they like too.

This is the tip of the iceberg, but just wanted to jot a few thoughts in a free moment.

health update

So I just realized I haven't posted in a month.... that's crazy because it's been a really great month in most, if not all, life categories that you can think of. A bit of a roller coaster in the first couple weeks of March, but these last two weeks have been amazing.

So the last time I checked (a day or two), I was at 110 and had stayed at that weight for several days. That means I have lost 16 pounds from my highest weight which was around a year ago. Three people at work have told me that they can tell a difference without any prompting from me. I have always worn my suit pants a size up because I don't like feeling squished in my clothes, but now I am having to wear a belt with some of my suits because they are too big.

I've done bootcamp for the last month three times a week, and I think this has been the biggest contributor in my suits not fitting anymore -- I'm shaped a bit differently. My biceps are different. :-) I've also done pilates almost every Saturday for the last two months. I'm definitely not done: I still am working on abs and I want to lose two more pounds, but I'm getting there.

hello.

health:
I'm still mostly eating right -- I've been working out around four times a week, but I've been bad about letting that mean that I can eat more food. My weight is up a pound, and I am not sure if that's from eating more or just my body getting more muscle? Regardless of the reason, it's not going to stick -- I really would like to lose 4 more pounds, then I will be done with weight loss and focusing only on leaning/toning and maintaining that weight.

I signed up for a fitness bootcamp for the month of March -- it's at 7AM on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Hate the early wakeup, but I am doing it with three friends from work so that's motivation.

This working out is changing my self-perception in a good way. I'm liking the results I'm seeing.

love:
Very character building, I hope anyway. I feel like I am laying the prep work now as a single person for what I hope to be a stable, happy future with an unknown partner something like three years from now (like coming out to my grandparents now so they have time to process it, working on getting my body in shape).

money:
I need advice. I got my bonus for the 2008 year, so now the question is:
Should I pay off half of my last federal student loan or should I buy a vehicle? The car would be paid for in full from my bonus, but it would mean adding monthly costs like parking and insurance. Because I live and work downtown, a car is not really necessary, but it would be nice. Should I spring for a luxury or be practical? I already bought myself a Kindle, so it's not like I am treating myself like a pauper.

So I am finally to the point where I could start posting my eating and working out, as I am now doing both of them right. Still at the same weight, but feeling good about how I am looking these days. Last week I worked out Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, then went to pilates on Saturday. This week I worked out Tuesday and Wednesday... went to dinner with K on Monday and went on a first date with a sous chef last night (Thurs) otherwise I would have worked out those days too. Tonight is quiz night at a gay bar, so skipping the gym, but I plan on doing pilates tomorrow -- it's pretty intense! My ab muscles hurt everytime I laughed for two days after the last session. I felt really dumb at the last session but the instructor gave me a sweet compliment afterwards -- "I can't believe this is your first session."

So last night I was very adventurous with the food I ate -- normally I have a "no cute animals" rule, but I ate the following:
Duck Confit, savoy cabbage slaw, roasted baby beets, beet vinagrette
Duck salami
Rosemary Chicken Liver Bruschetta, shallot marmalade, herb salad
House-Cured Trout, shaved fennel, toasted hazelnuts, tangerine vinaigrette

I decided when hanging out with a chef, eat what the chef recommends.

I'm happy to report that I have gone to the gym two nights in a row. On Tuesday night, my friend's friend taught us this series of 12 exercises using free weights. So last night, I did a half hour on the treadmill then did the series. I'm happy to be a member of the going to the gym club, but not liking the mindset I have about my own body recently thats causing me to go (namely, yes my stomach is flat but it's not as attractive because it's not toned, etc). I need to not compare myself to other people and remember my self-respect... I have lost it in the last two weeks, but that's another story. It's not permanent though.

A asked in her blog what people do to relieve stress. I found out a while back that my blood has too much oxygen in it -- the balance is off. This is caused by taking shallow breaths a lot, which people do when they are stressed (like mini-hyperventilating). So I learned a breathing exercise that I probably do throughout the day every day (at least during the work week). It's based on the same concept of blowing into a paper bag when you have a panic attack-- you want more carbon dioxide in your system to have a calming effect (and restore the balance in your blood). So what you do is purse your lips like a straw and blow the air out through your mouth somewhat forcefully. Since there is just a small opening for the air to exit, this forces back some of the carbon dioxide, which is a good thing. It looks funny though, but it works.

Still 112, still happy about that. A friend of a friend got certified as a personal trainer, so we're going to the gym tonight together to learn some new tips.

Two things I have done in the last few days that are helping me keep the weight off:

1. Eating small portions of bad food. It's unreasonable that I will eat solely healthy food all the time, so this weekend I started eating a little bit of unhealthy food (buffalo chicken bites w/ dip, a starbucks chocolate chip drink), but I only consume about half of the serving or less than throw the rest away. It's not ideal to throw away food, but there's no point in consuming a massive portion size that reflects an unhealthy western diet. Still trying to only eat healthy during the week, then be more relaxed on the weekends.

2. Switching to diet soda. I am seriously doing this. I know it is shocking. I just need to finish up the regular soda I have at home, but already at work I drink water in the mornings and diet coke after lunch.

Things with K turned into not what I had hoped, but I want to make it mean something by making life changes in terms of health, like diet soda and going to the gym. I want to look more toned.

weekend

I'm to the point now where I think I may have lost a little too much weight too quickly (I weighed 112 this morning -- this is a 19.8 BMI, underweight is less than 18.5, so it's not an unhealthy weight). I want to be this weight but I want it to be right -- working out and such. I went for a run yesterday and I was not pleased with my endurance. So I think today I am going to eat Cosi for lunch and eat off the regular menu, not the light menu like I always do. I ate very little this weekend, and I think I am going to suck it up and start going to the gym at my work, despite the awkwardness of seeing co-workers -- so that means that I'll need to eat more.

In other news, my weekend was awesome and something new seems to be starting. I'm pretty excited about that.