So I am finally to the point where I could start posting my eating and working out, as I am now doing both of them right. Still at the same weight, but feeling good about how I am looking these days. Last week I worked out Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, then went to pilates on Saturday. This week I worked out Tuesday and Wednesday... went to dinner with K on Monday and went on a first date with a sous chef last night (Thurs) otherwise I would have worked out those days too. Tonight is quiz night at a gay bar, so skipping the gym, but I plan on doing pilates tomorrow -- it's pretty intense! My ab muscles hurt everytime I laughed for two days after the last session. I felt really dumb at the last session but the instructor gave me a sweet compliment afterwards -- "I can't believe this is your first session."

So last night I was very adventurous with the food I ate -- normally I have a "no cute animals" rule, but I ate the following:
Duck Confit, savoy cabbage slaw, roasted baby beets, beet vinagrette
Duck salami
Rosemary Chicken Liver Bruschetta, shallot marmalade, herb salad
House-Cured Trout, shaved fennel, toasted hazelnuts, tangerine vinaigrette

I decided when hanging out with a chef, eat what the chef recommends.

I'm happy to report that I have gone to the gym two nights in a row. On Tuesday night, my friend's friend taught us this series of 12 exercises using free weights. So last night, I did a half hour on the treadmill then did the series. I'm happy to be a member of the going to the gym club, but not liking the mindset I have about my own body recently thats causing me to go (namely, yes my stomach is flat but it's not as attractive because it's not toned, etc). I need to not compare myself to other people and remember my self-respect... I have lost it in the last two weeks, but that's another story. It's not permanent though.

A asked in her blog what people do to relieve stress. I found out a while back that my blood has too much oxygen in it -- the balance is off. This is caused by taking shallow breaths a lot, which people do when they are stressed (like mini-hyperventilating). So I learned a breathing exercise that I probably do throughout the day every day (at least during the work week). It's based on the same concept of blowing into a paper bag when you have a panic attack-- you want more carbon dioxide in your system to have a calming effect (and restore the balance in your blood). So what you do is purse your lips like a straw and blow the air out through your mouth somewhat forcefully. Since there is just a small opening for the air to exit, this forces back some of the carbon dioxide, which is a good thing. It looks funny though, but it works.

Still 112, still happy about that. A friend of a friend got certified as a personal trainer, so we're going to the gym tonight together to learn some new tips.

Two things I have done in the last few days that are helping me keep the weight off:

1. Eating small portions of bad food. It's unreasonable that I will eat solely healthy food all the time, so this weekend I started eating a little bit of unhealthy food (buffalo chicken bites w/ dip, a starbucks chocolate chip drink), but I only consume about half of the serving or less than throw the rest away. It's not ideal to throw away food, but there's no point in consuming a massive portion size that reflects an unhealthy western diet. Still trying to only eat healthy during the week, then be more relaxed on the weekends.

2. Switching to diet soda. I am seriously doing this. I know it is shocking. I just need to finish up the regular soda I have at home, but already at work I drink water in the mornings and diet coke after lunch.

Things with K turned into not what I had hoped, but I want to make it mean something by making life changes in terms of health, like diet soda and going to the gym. I want to look more toned.

weekend

I'm to the point now where I think I may have lost a little too much weight too quickly (I weighed 112 this morning -- this is a 19.8 BMI, underweight is less than 18.5, so it's not an unhealthy weight). I want to be this weight but I want it to be right -- working out and such. I went for a run yesterday and I was not pleased with my endurance. So I think today I am going to eat Cosi for lunch and eat off the regular menu, not the light menu like I always do. I ate very little this weekend, and I think I am going to suck it up and start going to the gym at my work, despite the awkwardness of seeing co-workers -- so that means that I'll need to eat more.

In other news, my weekend was awesome and something new seems to be starting. I'm pretty excited about that.